Choose Goals That Expand Your Life, Not Shrink Your Body
As we step into a new year, the messaging is everywhere: "New year, new you!" Weight loss ads flood our feeds, gym memberships go on sale, and diet culture tells us that January 1st is the perfect time to "fix" our bodies.
But what if our bodies aren’t broken?
As a therapist specializing in eating disorders and body image, I want to invite you to reconsider what New Year's resolutions mean to you. Rather than the all-or-nothing nature of a resolution, we can set goals that are meaningful and sustainable.
The Problem with Appearance-Based Goals
There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting to take care of your body or pursue wellness.The issue is that societal messaging often equates health with body size and weight. The problem with this narrative is that weight is not the sole indicator of our health. Moreover, these appearance-based goals are often based on the false promise that changing your appearance will solve deeper issues around self-worth, confidence, or life satisfaction.
Appearance-focused goals often lead to:
Increased body dissatisfaction. Even when people achieve their weight loss goals, satisfaction is typically temporary. Society’s definition of the ideal body is always changing, meaning we are often pursuing a moving goalpost.
Disordered eating patterns. Restrictive dieting is one of the strongest predictors of developing an eating disorder. What starts as a "health goal" can quickly spiral into obsessive food tracking, extreme exercise, or harmful restriction.
Diminished self-worth. When your goals are tied to how you look, your sense of value becomes dependent on your body, which naturally changes throughout your life.
Disconnection from your body. Appearance-based goals require you to override your body's signals (hunger, fullness, fatigue) to achieve an unachievable ideal. This breaks our body’s trust that we will meet its needs, risking long-term impacts on our relationships with our bodies.
Shifting from Resolutions to Intentional Goal-Setting
So if appearance-based resolutions aren't the answer, what is?
The key is shifting from outcomes you can't fully control (like weight or body shape) to values-based goals that enhance your life regardless of how your body looks.
Ask yourself:
- What do I want to feel more of this year?
- What experiences do I want to have?
- What skills do I want to develop?
- How do I want to show up in my relationships and life?
These questions point to what truly matters in life. And life is far too vast and beautiful to be reduced to a number on a scale.
Values-Based Goals That Actually Support Well-Being
Here are some examples of goals that honor your well-being without focusing on appearance:
Rather than: "Lose weight"
Try: "Nourish my body with foods that make me feel energized and satisfied" or "Develop a more peaceful relationship with food"
Rather than: "Go to the gym 5 days a week"
Try: "Move my body in ways that feel joyful and sustainable" or "Find a form of movement I genuinely enjoy"
Rather than: "Fit into my old jeans"
Try: "Wear clothes that make me feel comfortable and confident in my body right now"
See the difference? You can still still set goals for your body while keeping body trust and respect central.
A Different Approach to the New Year
The new year doesn't require you to shrink, transform, or "fix" yourself. You are not a before photo waiting to become an after.
What if how you look is the least interesting thing about you?
This year, I invite you to set goals that expand your life rather than shrink your body. Goals that bring you closer to the person you want to be, not the size you think you should be.
If you're struggling with your relationship with food, body image, or the pressure to pursue appearance-based goals, please reach out. Therapy can help you break free from diet culture and build a life rooted in your values, not your reflection.
